THE KIDS. ([info]harrymolarryflo) wrote,
@ 2004-12-12 21:02:00
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OTTO.

PLEASE EXPLAIN 'CHRISTMAS.'

ALSO WTF IS THIS KWANZAA SHIT IT SOUNDS PRETTY BADASS.

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[info]otto_octavius
2004-12-13 05:25 am UTC (link)
Christmas is

Well like 2004 years ago Jesus was born, and so, presents. Wait, didn't I already explain Christ to you?

But anyway Rosie made me be Jewish when I married her.

Kwanzaa is a hilarious Wayan's brothers movie about two black men trying to fit in a white world.

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[info]harrymolarryflo
2004-12-13 05:43 am UTC (link)
DATABASE ENTRY: CHRIST

CHRIST IS A GIANT GILDED FLAMING HORSE THAT FALLS FROM THE SKY THRICE A [MILLENNIUM] AND SHITS HUMAN WISDOM.

HE DROPPED FROM THE SKY LIKE 4 DAYS BEFORE I MADE YOU. TOTALLY HOW I FIGURED OUT HOW TO BUILD YOU. YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER COUPLE HUNDRED YEARS BEFORE YOU SEE HIM NEXT.


IS HE COMING ON CHRISTMAS. WHAT.

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[info]otto_octavius
2004-12-13 05:49 am UTC (link)
No it's the exact date when he was born. So we get a tree and put decorations on it and hang stockings up and when we wake up yay yay! Candy and presents and toys and money!

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[info]harrymolarryflo
2004-12-13 06:12 am UTC (link)
WH.

WHAT THE HELL.

NOT THAT WE'RE NOT GONNA ROLL WITH IT AND ALL. WHO'S BUYING US OUR SHIT AND HOW MUCH IS HE OR SHE WILLING TO SPEND.

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[info]otto_octavius
2004-12-13 06:19 am UTC (link)
It's Santa. Santa Claus is a holly-jolly fat man who comes down the chimney and brings presents! But bad kids get a lump of coal. He knows how good or bad every one of you have been so there is no use lying.

And his limit is $100 on each of you.

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[info]harrymolarryflo
2004-12-13 06:29 am UTC (link)
OKAY. WE EACH WANT ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS.

CASH ONLY, MR. CLAUS. IS HE GERMAN?

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[info]otto_octavius
2004-12-13 06:30 am UTC (link)
It doesn't work like that. If you've been good Santa Claus will bring you presents. You don't just get the cash value and run with it.

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[info]harrymolarryflo
2004-12-13 06:33 am UTC (link)
THEN WHAT ARE THESE GIFT CERTIFICATES THE TELEVISION KEEPS TALKING ABOUT.

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[info]otto_octavius
2004-12-13 06:54 am UTC (link)
So what do you guys want Santa to get you?

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[info]harrymolarryflo
2004-12-13 07:16 am UTC (link)
HARRY: EIGHT LETTERS: QAF UK DVD.

LARRY: POONTANG.

FLO: SAME.

MO: HELLO KITTY!

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[info]otto_octavius
2004-12-13 07:19 am UTC (link)
Sadly, not even Santa can score you free ass.

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[info]harrymolarryflo
2004-12-13 07:30 am UTC (link)
HOW ABOUT A HITACHI MAGIC WAND.

FOR FLO. AND MAYBE A SIDE OF BACON AND SOME TROJAN WARM SENSATIONS[TM] FOR LARRY.

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[info]otto_octavius
2004-12-13 07:31 am UTC (link)
You know what? You two are disgusting. Santa's only giving you coal.

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[info]harrymolarryflo
2004-12-13 07:33 am UTC (link)
HEY WAIT COME ON.

HOW ABOUT SOME GIFT CERTIFICATES OR SOMETHING.

FOR A SEX SHOP. OR A BUTCHER.

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[info]otto_octavius
2004-12-13 07:34 am UTC (link)
NO. GOD.

YOU SUCK AT CHRISTMAS. WE'RE DOING CHANUKKAH, AND YOU CAN ALL THANK FLO AND LARRY FOR THAT.

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[info]harrymolarryflo
2004-12-13 07:36 am UTC (link)
MO WANTS TO KNOW WHAT CHAUNAKKAH IS AND IF IT MEANS SHE WILL NOT GET PRESENTS BECAUSE IF SHE DOES NOT GET PRESENTS SHE WANTS YOU TO KNOW THAT SHE STILL LOVES YOU AND IT IS OKAY SO DON'T BE SAD.

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[info]otto_octavius
2004-12-13 07:37 am UTC (link)
Oh

Oh
I


I guess we can do Christmas.

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[info]harrymolarryflo
2004-12-13 07:39 am UTC (link)
CAN WE HAVE A TREE.

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[info]otto_octavius
2004-12-13 07:50 am UTC (link)
Sure!

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[info]limb_darkening
2005-04-15 08:52 pm UTC (link)
Why does Rosie want to make you Jewish? Why can't you just be you Christian self?

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[info]lunanueva
2004-12-13 05:57 am UTC (link)
Don't forget to explain holiday traditions like the mistletoe. *throws mistletoe in the air, smooches Otto, watches the mistletoe fall to the ground and prepares herself to be hurt tremendously*

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[info]butterflysenshi
2004-12-13 06:02 am UTC (link)
Hm... mistletoe...

*dangles some over Otto, kisses, then dangles a bit over Harry, Larry, Mo, and Flo and kisses them all in turn* XP

Spread that Christmas lovin'!

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[info]ventruechick
2004-12-13 10:49 am UTC (link)
Here's the best way to get good presents: NORAD's Santa-Tracking Website.

Seek and Destroy Demand, oh yeah!! Or, you know, just email him. ^_~

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[info]cedarwolf22
2004-12-13 12:38 pm UTC (link)
Seeing as it looks like you'll be celebrating a couple holidays, do you plan on getting yourself a Chanukka Bush? Besta' both worlds XD

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[info]ren_sama
2004-12-14 05:09 am UTC (link)
Happy peak retail season.

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[info]evillunch
2004-12-15 06:56 am UTC (link)
Happy Kwanzaa. :T Wait, Larry -is- black, right?
[i mean, he is huge]

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[info]12toyock
2004-12-18 03:46 pm UTC (link)
I do not trust this Santa person. I mean- a fat old man in a red outfit breaks into your house and leaves stuff. What type of person breaks into a house and leaves stuff instead of taking stuff? I don't buy it. I think it's a trick to leave your doors unlocked on this Christmas Eve. It makes it easier for the marauding hoard to get your stuff.

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[info]scandalmonger
2004-12-18 03:53 pm UTC (link)
Not to mention that Santa is the ring leader for all pedophiles. I mean think about it. He bribes children into sitting on his lap by saying he'll get them whatever they want. Pedo's worship this guy.

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[info]harrymolarryflo
2004-12-19 01:18 am UTC (link)
THAT MAKES THE BABY JESUS CRY.

SANTA USUALLY PUTS A TOWEL OVER HIS HEAD TO SHUT HIM UP.

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[info]12toyock
2004-12-19 10:36 pm UTC (link)
What a sad, sad man this Santa is. I must keep him from getting into the house.

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[info]harrymolarryflo
2004-12-19 01:09 am UTC (link)
BUT SANTA ALLEGEDLY COMES THROUGH THE CHIMNEY.

NOT THROUGH THE DOOR.

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[info]12toyock
2004-12-19 10:34 pm UTC (link)
What?! Down the chimney! What a talented cat burglar he is! What if you don't have a chimney?

Wait! We have a chimney! I must make a note to start a fire in the fireplace on Christmas Eve. That will keep him out of our chimney.

As if the house people don't already have me guarding this tree they brought inside and put crap all over it, now I'll have to guard the chimney as well. Someone please tell me that this isn't done every year.

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[info]ren_sama
2004-12-21 04:40 am UTC (link)
I was told that if you lack a chimney, he'll use the balcony.

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[info]dr_radar
2004-12-22 11:04 pm UTC (link)
You realize that Santa leaves toys for people don't you? He might see you and accidentally put you in his bag. Then you'll be given to some kid who doesn't like Doc Ock and you will be ignored. Or destroyed.

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[info]12toyock
2004-12-22 11:32 pm UTC (link)
What! You mean Santa breaks into houses, suffocates babies and abducts toys! Has he ever thought of being a super villain?

This man must go down.

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[info]c4bl3fl4m3
2005-09-27 06:16 pm UTC (link)
Funny you should mention that.

When I was a kid, I grew up in a house in the middle of the woods where we used our fireplace to heat the house. Every Christmas Eve I made sure my parents left the door unlocked so Santa wouldn't try the chimney and get burned alive.

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